It all started with chest pains, a call to Security, then EMS4 being strapped to a gurney, put into the ambulance backward, which with my queasy stomach is a No No for me. As the ambulance careened down Route 44, the swaying around curves and hitting every bone-crunching bump, made me fight the urge to urinate or throw up. I mentioned this to the attendant and he calmly asked me if I needed a bedpan or a bag. In the ambulance?? In front of a handsome young man who reminded me of a young Tom Selleck?? God forbid!
My daughter, Irene, was already at Vassar Hospital when we arrived. After hours of testing, and hundreds of questions, I was in a room next to the ER. Nurses Station. It was quite noisy with ringing phones and loud conversation. At one point there was considerable laughter and we heard the expression, “She is a Virgin.” Irene laughed and explained that it meant it was my first time in an E.R. I laughed and said, “Well everything old is new again.”
Irene left and finally at 12:45 I was taken to my room, given a sleeping pill and told to go to sleep. Ha Ha big joke.
A gentle shake of the shoulder “Mrs. H. I have to take your temperature.” I groaned and started to turn over, when something was stuck into my ear. Well, so much for modern medicine. Better in the ear than the rear. A gentle shake of the shoulder, “Mrs. H. I have to take your blood pressure.’ A gentle shake of the shoulder “Mrs. H, I have to draw some blood. Oh dear, I see on your chart, you are the one with the slippery veins. I’ll try not to stick you too often. Thank you, go back to sleep,” which by this time, was a fast fading dream.
As daylight was trying to creep around the curtain drawn between the two beds, I decided to check out my domain. To my claustrophobic dismay, I realized that my floor space of this room was approximately 6’ wide by 10’ long. When I got out of bed, my foot was already inside the spacious 3’ by 3’ bathroom. My roommate was quite ill and needed the extra space for the equipment monitoring her condition.
After a quick wash behind the ears and elsewhere I was eagerly awaiting my breakfast. I was famished, having eaten very little the previous day. Ah, here it comes, “Good Morning Mrs. H. You are on a liquid diet because of tests scheduled for today”. I had to choke back the tears when I looked at the unappetizing array of containers filled with milk, juice, hot broth, applesauce and two of lime colored Jell-O).
After all this, I am facing my first day in a not very happy mood, wondering what other new experiences are before me.
Anne Humbach, 2004
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